The habits of love, happiness and a fulfilling life
Am I good parent? This is a bold and complex question.
I usually come home from work (or set my laptop aside) late in the evening when my kids are tired and ready to go to sleep. Sometimes we watch TV for a few minutes, and then we pray before I put them to bed. However, most of the time we are so tired that we are unable to establish a true connection. On top of that, I devote many hours to “my stuff” — my hobbies and personal projects — on the weekends.
Does this make me a bad parent or a distant father?
Let us pause for a moment. We´ll come back to our question.
If your children are going to absorb your message, you need to speak to them in their language, their code. And their universal code is the language of example — what you do and how you do it, and especially how you respond to challenges and setbacks. Your kids are watching every move you make, even the small decisions and actions. Be aware!
When it comes to influencing through example, consistency is a better teacher than intensity, in the positive and the negative.
Habits reveal character
Our character plays a fundamental role when it comes to our unconscious decisions. Our values, integrity, excellence and work ethic are important, but without a doubt, our habits create our character. Our habits are all those tiny actions, decisions or attitudes that we make on “automatic pilot.” Your habits are your identity. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”
The best way to inspire our kids to create good habits is by having healthy habits ourselves. Our habits — which create our routines, our lifestyle and the code by which we live — constitute the universal code for communicating with our children. They are the language of positive parenting, teaching them the simplest and yet, deepest, life lessons.
- Cultivating optimism
- Developing resilience and a positive attitude toward setbacks
- Modeling your family values
- Teaching abundance through gratitude
- Practicing a deep work ethic full of integrity
- Pushing excellence through discipline
- Maintaining hunger for learning and growth
- Respecting your partner, your parents, and siblings; respecting all human beings
- Showing transcendence through love
- Helping understand what true happiness is
Am I a good parent?
I cannot answer the question for myself. But I must say that I frequently experience a deep sense of guilt. I know that I should strive to finish work earlier so I can spend more time with my kids, be present, leave technology aside and drop down to the floor to play action figures and games. Maybe I could sit down more often to help with homework.
— Luis Pedro Recinos, Managing Director, CMI Corporate Latin America share
I do not want to be just a weekend dad, and I don’t pretend to be a best-in-class parent because I take my kids camping or fishing occasionally.
But I also know that I should continue caring for my children deeply, expressing my feelings and showing them my purest love. Above all, I know I should continue putting all my energy to provide them with tools so that they can understand, at the right pace, what is love, happiness and a fulfilling life. Living by example – modeling good habits – is the best way I can do that.
Am I a good parent? I do not know, and I am not the one to answer such a question. It will be my kids, when they grow up and have kids, who will answer it for me.
